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Duty Calls: The Calm Before the Storm Transcript

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This transcript contains all quotes said in the game Duty Calls: The Calm Before the Storm.

Starting ScreenEdit

  • DUTY CALLS: THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM
  • PRESS [SPACE] TO START
  • MATURE 17+; BLOOD AND GORE, INTENSE VIOLENCE, PARTIAL NUDITY, SEXUAL THEMES, STRONG LANGUAGE, USE OF ALCOHOL
  • This is a parody. It is not associated with Activision or the Call of Duty games.

InstructionsEdit

  • Esc --> Pause
  • W, A, S, D --> Movement
  • R --> Reload
  • G --> Context Action
  • Spacebar --> Jump
  • Mouse --> Aim
  • Left Mouse Button --> Fire Weapon
  • Right Mouse Button --> Jump

IntroEdit

The Earth is seen from the viewpoint of a satellite.

Anonymous Voice: War. War never changes. Or does it? The war has changed. Did it? The answer is "no". Unless it is "yes". No, of course! It is war. Yes! No! Yes?

The satellite zooms onto the Real-life war scenario.

CampaignEdit

Incoming Transmission: RECEIVING IMPORTANT WAR MESSAGE THAT'S FULL OF IMPORTANT INSTRUCTIONS ABOUT WAR, AND STUFF, ETC.

Location Marker: Kemerovo, Russia; September 22, 2000; Time: 1400

HQ: Here's your objective. Blah, blah, blah, blah, secret base. Blah, blah, blah, plans. Blah, blah, blah, Nuclear missile-bomb . Blah, blah, blah, counting on you, utmost importance, win, good luck!

Fence opens. Sign reads, "Entering Real-life War Scenario".

Bad Guy: I am an enemy. (Gets shot) Ow. (Dies)

Rank Up! Master Sergeant Shooter Person!

Bad Guy: I am an enemy too. (Shoots Fox-club niner) (Gets shot then dies)

Random Announcer: Oooooh! Bloody Screen! So real.

Bad Guy: I am also an enemy. (Dies also)

Rank Up! Master Sergeant Shooter Sergeant Person!

(Picks up Meaningless stick)

Incoming Transmission: YOU HAVE PICKED UP A SMALL MEANINGLESS STICK. CONGRATS.

Checkpoint Reached.

Ally: (Points at Fox-club niner) Hey Fox-club niner. I'm gonna point at you and say something serious to further develop the game's storyline.

(Jeep runs over Ally)

Ally: Oh! I'm dead. Increasing the drama of the story. (Ally dies)

Jeep Driver: (Laughs) You can not stop me unless the game goes into slow-motion and for some reason and I become easy to shoot. (Game goes into slow-motion) Oh no!

(Fox-club niner shoots him and the Jeep blows up, killing the Jeep Driver.)

Rank Up! Sergeant Sergeant Master Sergeant Shooter Person!

Bad Guy: I am yet another enemy. (Dies)

Rank Up! Master Sergeant Shooter Sergeant Important Person Of Sergeants Extreme!

Bad Guy: I am also an enemy. (Dies)

(Camera shifts to a Paratrooper in the sky.)

Paratrooper: I am a paratrooper because that is a real-life war scenario. You can not shoot me because this is a cutscene to make the game feel more dramatic like a movie. Soon I'll be landing. I have landed on the ground. (Shoots Fox-club niner) (Gets shot then dies)

Random Announcer: Oooooh! Bloody Screen! So real.

Rank Up! Sergeant Of The Master Sergeants Most Important Person Of Extreme Sergeants To The Max!

(Fox-club niner picks up 500 sheets of wide ruled notebook paper.)

Incoming Transmission: 500 SHEETS OF WIDE RULED NOTEBOOK PAPER ADDED TO INVENTORY.

(Fox-club niner enters a hangar.)

Leader of Bad Guys: I have a gravelly voice with a big foreign accent. I have an eyepatch and I wear a nice suit. That means I am Leader of Bad Guys. I hold the Nuclear missile-bomb. I will never give the Nuclear-missile bomb to you!

Fox-club niner: Give the Nuclear missile-bomb to us, Leader/Enemy Boss, and then put your hands up.

Leader of Bad Guys: Okay! USA is dominate! (Begins crying) I am crying tears! I am crying tears!

(Fox-club niner puts his thumbs up, fireworks shoot out of them, and the American flag is on each of them.)

THE END

Funny QuoteEdit

Fox-club niner: Boring! (He says that every time he shoots an enemy.)

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